OK, commenting here. :)

I'm really glad you ended up going with the 9th Doctor for this one. I have trouble, actually, imagining this story with the 4th Doctor. I think you could have a lot of fun giving the 4th Doctor amnesia, but, yeah, it's difficult to imagine him learning from it in any significant way.

Of course AstroGirl's version of this, she used regeneration amnesia, which actually did make sense, but for some reason it didn't occur to me to do that.

Whereas it seemed to obvious to me it almost felt like cheating! :) It is interesting to compare the two, because they're such very different stories, but there's a certain character concept at the heart of them both that's very similar. I think that's really cool.

He unconsciously knows that he's an outsider even now. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

That's certainly what I got out of it, and I thought it was an absolutely perfect touch, something totally, subtly Doctorish. I'm actually remembering now, reading through the commentary, how many beautiful little moments like that there are. Like the blank psychic paper. Actually, mostly I'm remembering mainly how much I like this story, in general. :)

Because it's true, as one of my beta-readers pointed out, that there's no real reason why Klane would give the Doctor the information -- but he had to have the information for the plot. So I had to solve this somehow.

The Doctor's always had the ability of using the force of his personality to get plot points out of people who have no reason to give them to him. :)

I have trouble, actually, imagining this story with the 4th Doctor. I think you could have a lot of fun giving the 4th Doctor amnesia, but, yeah, it's difficult to imagine him learning from it in any significant way.

Well, if it had been the 4th Doctor, it would have been a different story, probably a completely different plot, apart from the premise. Or I would have torn my hair and given up, not having been able to think of something that the 4th Doctor could learn from it...
And possibly gone for an amnesiac Avon and Servalan stuck on a planet together where they developed mutual telepathy. Except that's already been done.

Actually, mostly I'm remembering mainly how much I like this story, in general.

(big smile)

The Doctor's always had the ability of using the force of his personality to get plot points out of people who have no reason to give them to him.

LOL! How very true.

I'm actually amazed that you considered any other doctor than 9 - he seems so natural for it, though 7 could have been very very interesting. Four would have produced a very different story, I think, though probably just as good.

Indeed, so perfect an idea did it prove, that AstroGirl, who, by some strange mystical coincidence known as The Organiser, had been given my requests, also decided to do the 9th Doctor with Amnesia. Which just goes to show that "there's no such thing as an original idea, only an original treatment."

And those two stories ARE so very different, yet so very perfectly Ninth, as Astro's said.

This was meant to be a subtle hint of amnesia, that he couldn't remember the name of "molasses" -- besides, I like the non-cliche-ness of that sentence.

You, know, it never twigged to me that that's what he forgot? I just loved as you say "the non-cliche-ness" of the phrasing.

Gotta thank Jonathan for the "I'm supposed to know?" line; he'd suggested the line "You mean, people know who they are? Fascinating." I didn't end up using the line, but I'm grateful for the idea, because it turns the usual "oh no, I can't remember who I am" thing on its head.

I remeber laughing out loud at that, and at the sheer brilliance and DOCTOR-ness of it - Jonathon's version, BTW, strikes me as far more 4 than 9, but for a 4 line it's marvellous.

Yeah, it did bother me a little that she didn't just steal everything of his, because that would seem more pragmatic, especially since she'd gone to all the effort of stripping his stuff. Maybe she thought better of it when he woke up coherent

Yeah but, forgive me, my first reaction when you say that is "but Elly wouldn't!" which I can't fathom for the life of me, but I honestly CAN'T see her, as you're created her, stealing from a victim of this "ghost". I think she'd let them keep the only kind of memories they have, the tangible ones.

And as to the litany of stuff he pulled out of his pokets, I didn't even notice that they'd all shown up somewhere in canon. They were just such Doctorish objects I didn't question.

I wanted the Menace to be Sinister and Creepy. So why not have people think it was a ghost? They didn't have to be correct.

I've only managed recently to make peace with lying to the readers thorugh the assumptions of the charcaters in a mystery. My fiance pointed out that the WORST offenders in history of doing this where Sir Aurthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie, and after thinking long and hard I found I didn't mind being in such company.

So here we have Joon instead of "June". Though now that I think about it, wasn't there a movie with a character called "Joon"? Oh well.

Benny and Joon, though I've never seen it.

Misled and loony, of course. I wanted to have a dialect here that felt like the kind of dialect that an underclass would speak, but which couldn't be pinned down to any specific culture, so that it would sound non-20th-Century. So I tried pinching bits from US and British slang, and bending them a little.

And you did a FANTASTIC job, I utterly LOVE your dialect, it feels so coherent and consistant and REAL - profesional assesment, that. *linguist*

I'm posting my comments in two batches, because I have more to say tham LJ will let me...

And this is really the reason for the title of the story, too. The amnesia the Doctor had been given was anaesthesia; a numbness which side-tracked the pain, but didn't help him deal with it. Mind you, in this scenario, the anaesthesia was probably helpful, as a temporary measure to help him get his feet under him, (and prevent him from becoming a terminal patient) but anaesthesia is never a cure for anything.

And did you know that untill this made me double check I was convinced the title of this peice was "Amnaesthesia" a blend of the two words?

The description is rather vague, I know. It just felt as if it would be rather lame to describe it as a cross between a squirrel, a crab, and a bird...

I rather loved the description of the critter, and for some reason pictured it with long lop-rabbit ears, too...

I wrote the "remembrance" bits above before I wrote the scene they were part of. There was quite a bit of that in this story; writing things out of order. It seemed to work anyway.

I do this an aweful lot myself (the last place was the worst offender for it) and it's such a joy when they fall into place like jigsaw peices, seemlessly like this, isn't it?

Elly is one who Names. I'd toyed with the idea of making it so that the Nones were the only ones who actually had names, while the Regs just went by their job designation and ID, but that would probably have been belabouring the point, and Jonathan persuaded me not to.

I actually think that woulda been neet, but I like weird stuff like that.

Vilakins actually wondered if I'd named Vilka after Vila Restal, but if that was the case, it wasn't conscious.

And here I was convinced you'd named it after Vilakins of whom Elly reminds me strongly.

I utterly love this story. Love it SO much.

And did you know that untill this made me double check I was convinced the title of this peice was "Amnaesthesia" a blend of the two words?

Really? How intriguing.

I rather loved the description of the critter, and for some reason pictured it with long lop-rabbit ears, too...

yes, well that would certainly make it cute...

it's such a joy when they fall into place like jigsaw peices, seemlessly like this, isn't it?

Yep.

I actually think that woulda been neet, but I like weird stuff like that.

It's probably just as well I left it out, though, because it might have been a sort of side-tracking thing, taking away from the focus on the Doctor.

And here I was convinced you'd named it after Vilakins of whom Elly reminds me strongly.

It wasn't conscious, I tell you!

I utterly love this story. Love it SO much.

(huge smile) Thanks.

It's probably just as well I left it out, though, because it might have been a sort of side-tracking thing, taking away from the focus on the Doctor.

No, no, you're right.

I'm actually amazed that you considered any other doctor than 9 - he seems so natural for it,

Well, of course he is natural for it -- but I didn't realize that until after I'd seen "Dalek". Remember, they were still showing it here for the first time when I was writing this.

though 7 could have been very very interesting

He would, wouldn't he? Probably more interesting than 4, now that you point it out.

Gotta thank Jonathan for the "I'm supposed to know?" line; he'd suggested the line "You mean, people know who they are? Fascinating." I didn't end up using the line, but I'm grateful for the idea, because it turns the usual "oh no, I can't remember who I am" thing on its head.

I remeber laughing out loud at that, and at the sheer brilliance and DOCTOR-ness of it - Jonathon's version, BTW, strikes me as far more 4 than 9, but for a 4 line it's marvellous.

I think Jonathan's line would also suit #8 too.

Yeah but, forgive me, my first reaction when you say that is "but Elly wouldn't!" which I can't fathom for the life of me, but I honestly CAN'T see her, as you're created her, stealing from a victim of this "ghost". I think she'd let them keep the only kind of memories they have, the tangible ones.

You're probably right. After all, if she was charitable enough to declare that she'd look after the victim, she'd be charitable enough not to steal from them.

They were just such Doctorish objects I didn't question.

(grin)

I've only managed recently to make peace with lying to the readers thorugh the assumptions of the charcaters in a mystery.

Oh, I don't feel any guilt whatsoever about that! I love having characters jump to perfectly logical but incorrect conclusions. Though I admit, what I like most is having characters guess wrong when the reader knows that they're wrong, like with crossovers. I'm probably reacting against the many times (often in crossovers) where Our Heros figure out everything correctly not because it's logical, but just because they're the Heros and the writer is too lazy to make things more interestingly difficult.

And you did a FANTASTIC job, I utterly LOVE your dialect, it feels so coherent and consistant and REAL - profesional assesment, that. *linguist*

You are? Cool. I did some first-year linguistics at Uni, but it was just for fun, I didn't go any further with it.

Remember, they were still showing it here for the first time when I was writing this.

I am a spoiled, spoiled Canadian. I'm sorry. :D

I think Jonathan's line would also suit #8 too.

I'll take your word for it, as I'm an utter 8 virgin.

Though I admit, what I like most is having characters guess wrong when the reader knows that they're wrong, like with crossovers. I'm probably reacting against the many times (often in crossovers) where Our Heros figure out everything correctly not because it's logical, but just because they're the Heros and the writer is too lazy to make things more interestingly difficult.

You know, I've never run into this? Sounds dreadful. I'll have to do the "guess wrong when the reader knows they're wrong" thing sometime, because I REALLY like reading that.

You are? Cool. I did some first-year linguistics at Uni, but it was just for fun, I didn't go any further with it.

Well to be fair I'm 3/4 of a linguist, but I still think that counts for "professional" interest. It's what I WILL be doing professionally.